Friday, February 18, 2011

The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever

I have nothing against friends and family offering advice when you come to them with a dilemma. It's the people who pipe up, unbidden, because they see you with a child and assume you have no idea what you're doing. Too often these people are elderly great-aunts. Fortunately those ladies are afraid of the Internet, so I can rail against them and they'll be none the wiser! Thanks, ladies.

1. "Sleep now, because once that baby comes you'll never sleep again."
Technically this is a pregnancy tip, of course, but I'm shoving it in here anyway. Yes, Great-Aunt Hildy, I will sleep throughout my entire third trimester. Because I am part bear.

2. "Sleep when the baby sleeps."
Everyone gives you this one — annoying relatives, pediatricians, the cashier at the drugstore where you were buying newborn diapers. Are these people all robots, capable of instantly dropping off to sleep whenever their child is unconscious? Do they not have other things to do, like bathe, or simply relish the rare moments of silence you get when you have an infant?

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3. "I think your baby's hungry." Whether you're nursing or bottle-feeding, everyone assumes you don't know how to feed your child. And every time your child cries, whines, grimaces, or squirms, they are going to assume you are starving your poor baby and you need reminders to feed it. Lest you forget! This advice is especially maddening when they turn out to be correct.

4. "Relish every moment of your baby's first years, because they'll be grown before you know it."
You mean, time only moves forward? I had no idea! I thought we'd be like this forever and ever! This sort of advice, obvious and innocuous as it seems, always put me on the defensive, as if I had just been carrying my baby under my arm like a football, muttering, "Grow up already, why don't you. Just GROW UP."

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5. "I hope you're sleep training that child. Do you WANT him to be spoiled?" Oh, distant relative/person whose aisle I shared at the supermarket, I'm so glad you know exactly my child needs. And that you know, from your years of scientific research, that any child not allowed to cry it out will be a horrible waste of flesh! (See #6 for this parenting tip's counterpart.)

6. "I hope you're not doing that 'crying it out' thing. It's so barbaric. Enjoy your baby all through the night!"
Again, kudos to you, whoever you are, for knowing what's best for our unique family situation! I will be calling you at 4 a.m., so you can enjoy our baby as well.

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7. "Why are you bringing your child outside when it's so cold out?"
It never ceased to amaze me that, no matter what my child's age, total strangers will express alarm and revulsion that I dared expose him to the elements. "And WHY ISN'T BE WEARING MITTENS? He's going to get consumption!"

8. "Your child isn't really sad/angry/injured. He's just manipulating you."
There's no doubt that children can push our buttons as if they've had professional training in it, but the notion that my kid's authentic feelings are in fact manufactured to elicit a reaction really chaps my hide. If that were always true, he'd be a pint-sized sociopath.  I'm pretty sure that's not the case.

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9. "Schools are just glorified prisons. If you loved your child, you'd homeschool." Oh, if only I loved my child enough to abandon my livelihood, tear him away from the community he so enjoys, separate him from the professionals who have dedicated their careers to childhood education, and forced him to stay home all day with me, where we'd be at each other's throats for hours! If only! Please note: I am not opposed to homeschooling, at all — in fact I wish it would work for us, but it would not.

10. "If I were you, I'd just—"
OH NO YOU DON'T. I know where this is going. Listen, unnamed distant acquaintance who last parented in the 19th century (it's true — I often get my unwanted advice from ghosts) you don't know diddly about my kid, and our relationship, and what works for us.

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Well! That felt good. What did I miss? What parenting advice could you do without, forever? Speak now!

Akhirnya saya jumpe satu artikel from Yahoo...  tHanks to yahoo (artikel sebenar klik sini ye)

Kadang2 orang ni bercakap macam orang sebelah lagi tu tak tau ape2...Zero knowledge la..  Lepas tu kalau kita terbuat salah..lagi2 benda yang die tau..  Then kuar la ayat

"Kan aku dah cakap..duku ko tak nak dengar"

Pernah dengar tak..people learn from mistakes...  Kalau die dah realize salah die..tak perlu nak tambah gule garam dan asam..  Lagi2 bab parenting ni..  Sebab manusia ni bukan robot..samaaaa je semua..setiap kanak2 dilahirkan dengan sifat yang berbeza..cara didikan juga berbeza...

Lepas tu asyik suruh kita BACA BUKU>...dalami ILMU PENGETAHUAN TENTANG PENJAGAAN ANAK.... 

Ko tau ke aku duk baca ke tidak?..  Ko nampak?...  Ko ingat orang yang komen2 kat blog parenting...yang usung buku ke hulu ke hilir je yang study?  O..kalau yang lain2 tu buat bodo jerla....
Ape ko ingat ni zaman batu ke hape....
Memang geram...  Kita ni..selagi kita tak praktikkan..kita tak tau mana yang patut..mana yang tidak...  Mana yangbetul..mana yang tidak..  Kalau kata belajar pun...  Tapi TIADA praktikal....mana mungkin nak ingat tu semua..  Pasti dalam panik...ada masa2 kita terlupa dan perlu rujuk semula...  Proses pembelajaran tu akan bergerak seiring....

Ok la..admitla..ko la manusia paling power...semua pasal budak ko tau...  Ko juga jangan tak tau..  ORANG YANG SERBA TAU MACAM KO LAH tuhan uji tau!...

Tgk jela contoh2 pada orang bijak pandai di negara kita..  Mak ayah pakar motivasi..anak2 ada maslaah dgn dadah la..dengan pelajaran la..  Tu namanya tuhan nak uji..  Tapi mak ayah yang sekadar belajar lepasan SPM..yang keje jadi JAGA (ni bukan menghina ok)...anak2 bijak sampai jadi  jadi engineer,,,  CEO... 

Jadi sama2 kita tegur menegur....bukan buat cara ala2 ko semua tau..  =)

Sebab aku tgk..cara ko tu pun..tidakla semua tau.....  Jadi simpan je nasihat ko tu k! Sebab cara nasihat ko tu pun ala2 ko tu perfect..kiranya semua kene refer kat ko jela...  kat org lain semua salah....


suezen said...

kengkadang kan...terasa gak ngan makcik2 tua....mcm dorg je yg zaman skang x same dengan baby dolu2...

ayat yg biasa didengari

(ehh...anak aku dulu aku wat cmtuh...sihat je smpi skang)

owhhh!!!...meluat ok!!!

Just Call Me Bitt said...

huish kakak marah sangat nehh...hehehe sabau nik sabau...ingat baby dalam pewut..hehe owh sememangnya pengalaman dtang dari rencah kehidupan...mungkin dia menegur caranya utk dia sendiri mengingatkan dirinya...thanks 4 the info darling..sometimes tak de masa nak google nak tambahkan knowledge ;)

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